The Professional
by greengirl82
Summary: Nobody ever has fun picking up a loved one from lock up...Two shot. COMPLETE.
1. The Ladies Of The Night

**The Professional**

Disclaimer: So, yeah I don't own Criminal Minds. That's CBS, and they won't trade me. **huffs** They're stingy.

Summary: Hotch has to pick Emily up from the police station after she's arrested.

A/N: I originally made this as a single story, but then wrote a sequel which both were laden with errors, so here they are corrected and posted as a two fic. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

"There are two kinds of truths. There are real truths, and there are made up truths." Marion Barry

* * *

Hotch sighed waiting for the brunette to be bailed out.

_'What the hell did she even get arrested for?'_ Hotch thought to himself watching Emily slowly and angrily walk over to him.

"Ready?" Hotch asked the annoyed brunette who shot him a look.

"Yeah, let's get the hell out of here." Emily muttered, turning her glare at a detective.

Hotch was surprised by his brunette agent's unusual silence. She was never one known for being silent about anything.

"So" he asked, slowly "What did they'd lock you up for?"

"That idiot, Detective Howard" she hissed out the man's name like venom, "Arrested me for solicitation."

"What?" Hotch asked, shaking his head in disbelief. Clearly he had misheard, right?

"That moron, thought I was a hooker" Emily growled out, looking over at Hotch "Do I look like a hooker?"

Hotch sideways glanced over at her, the low cut red dress made him raise an eyebrow.

"Well?" Emily repeated, getting angrier by the minute.

"No" Hotch said rather quickly.

"Yeah thanks for the quick response" Emily said "You know this is JJ and Garcia's fault."

"How's this their fault?" Hotch asked.

"They told me to buy this dress" she pointed to her frame "And told me to meet at that hotel bar."

"Yeah, so how's that their fault?" Hotch asked again.

"How was I to know that, that place was grand station Hooker Zone?" Emily said exacerbated, causing him to chuckle at that.

* * *

"Don't laugh" Emily demanded, "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry, but I just can't wait until everyone sees your mug shot." Hotch said laughing.

Emily punched Hotch in the shoulder "You think this is funny?"

"No." Hotch said "Well yeah a little."

"That cop was flirting with me, and then had the nerve to proposition me!" Emily said.

"That's why the charges were dropped and there won't be this incident in your file." Hotch said.

"Like that makes this any better." Emily muttered.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better." Hotch said "I sent Kevin and Dave go pick up their ladies of the night."

"What?" Emily asked in confusion "You didn't bail them out?"

"I'm your fiancee not theirs." Hotch said "I only bailed you out."

"So there still in there?" Emily asked.

"Yep." Hotch said kissing Emily's cheek.

"Then I feel better." Emily said pulling Hotch into a kiss.

"Let's wait til we get home, wouldn't want you to get arrested again." Hotch joked.

"So not funny." Emily said getting into the SUV.

* * *

JJ and Garcia walk out of the police station together looking in the parking lot to see Dave and Kevin.

"Lucy, you got some 'splainin to do" Kevin told Garcia.

"Shut up." Garcia said while Dave laughed.

"You let us stay in there all night!" JJ said smacking Dave's arm.

"Well serves you right for walking into a hotel filled with hookers servicing johns." Dave said rubbing his arm.

"We didn't know that it was that kind of hotel." Garcia said.

"We barely walked in there when we were propositioned, then all hell broke loose and we were arrested." JJ said.

"We saw poor Emily being dragged away in handcuffs and..." Garcia said.

"And you both got slap happy with the cops trying to get to her." Dave said shaking his head.

"Come on, Ladies of the Night we'll take you home." Kevin said taking Garcia's hand.

"Don't say that out loud, or we'll all get arrested." JJ said following Dave to their car.

"Just hope none of our mugshots wind up being seen by anyone at the BAU." Garcia whispered to JJ.

* * *

"You can't arrest me, I'm a rock star." Sid Vicious

* * *

**To Be Concluded... **

The next one will be the guys turn...


	2. The Brawling Boys

**The Professional**

Disclaimer: CBS owns Criminal Minds, not me. **Rolls Eyes** Would Emily be gone if I owned it? No she'd be with Hotch.

Summary: It's the boys turn to get picked up from lock up,,

Timeline: A few months after chapter one...

A/N: Here's part two of The Professional, enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

* * *

A good friend will bail you out of jail but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying 'Damn that was fun.' Author Unknown

* * *

Hotch sat in his jail cell with Dave next to him asleep and Morgan looking like he wanted to break the bars with his bare hands.

Hotch sighed and shook his head _'Damn, she's going to kill me. I know it.'_

Emily, JJ and Garcia stood in the precinct waiting for the local cops to speed along the process.

"No more boys night out with them again. Ever." Garcia said hanging up her cell phone.

"How's Kevin?" Emily asked, looking at the clock going by slowly.

"Mild concussion and a black eye" Garcia sighed, "Other than that he'll live."

"I'm so sorry, Garcia." JJ said "Dave will take care of the hospital bill, don't worry about that."

"Hotch and Morgan too." Emily said "It's all their damn faults."

"All right ladies" The cop said "Release papers for Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan and David Rossi, just sign the bottom and they're free to go."

"Should keep them in longer to teach them a lesson." JJ muttered tapping her foot in anger.

"Excuse me, miss?" the cop asked looking at the petite blonde.

"This is all Derek's fault" Garcia said "Not Hotch or Dave's."

"Mr. Morgan did throw the first punch at the bar patron" the officer explained, "But it was the other man's comments that instigated the incident."

"Excuse me?" Emily asked, raising an eyebrow at the officer "What comments?"

"It seems Morgan, Hotchner and Rossi were drinking, while awaiting Lynch's arrival and some bar patron was making inappropriate comments to the young waitress, and tried groping her." The cop started.

"And?" Emily asked, her stomach dropping at that thought "How'd the first punch get started?"

"Well at that moment, Mr. Morgan walked up tp help the waitress get away from the grabby men, and well after some comment on sexuality Morgan threw the punch and his friends tried to stop it and it ended up a big major bar fight that got the windows broken with chairs thrown through..." The cop said.

"And what else?" JJ asked impatiently.

"Well that was the moment Mr. Lynch walked in and saw some man about to hit Hotchner in the head with a pool stick and pushed the man" the man continued, "Mr. Morgan also saw this but didn't know it was Lynch and punched Lynch so hard that he hit a wall and knocked into the glass mirror."

"Anything else?" Garcia asked, angry that her chocolate god knocked her sweet baby out.

"Seems at that moment the cops arrived and arrested everyone on sight with the exception of Mr. Lynch" the officer explained, "Although Mr. Rossi tried to disway the arrest and was the only one walked out in handcuffs other then the man who instigated the fight."

The cop looked at the three angry women and wondered if maybe it'd be safer to keep the men in the holding cell instead of releasing them to the women.

"Are they free to go now?" Emily asked calmer than the two blonde beside her.

"Yes" the man instantly felt for the three in lock up "I'll bring them right out."

* * *

Emily, JJ and Garcia watched as the three men walk towards them, fear in their eyes almost as if they were walking the green mile.

"Baby Girl?" Morgan asked "You bailed me out?"

"You can thank Kevin for me having any mercy for you" Garcia said "Because if it were up to me, you'd be sitting your butt in that holding cell."

"Smooth move, Morgan" JJ said "Knocking Kevin out, when all he did was try and prevent Hotch getting konked on the back of the skull."

"Hey, ok" Morgan protested, "I feel bad enough without having to be hassled about it."

"Yeah, well I hope you three know that it was Kevin who asked us to bail you out" Emily told the men "We'd of left you in here if it wasn't for his compassion."

"What are you guys even thinking of starting a bar fight?" JJ asked "You're all over twenty-one so it's not even an excuse of ignorance and age."

The three men looked at the angry trio of women in front of them and sighed.

"Come on jailbirds, we'll get you some breakfast and have you all go home to shower and change." Emily said.

"Because none of you are visiting Kevin smelling like beer or blood." JJ added.

"And remember you're all getting Kevin nice gifts for putting him in the hospital." Garcia added. "Now hop to."

When none of the men moved, the two women looked over at Emily and sighed.

"Move it!" Emily said in a loud authoritative voice.

Hotch, Dave and Morgan moved fast to the black SUV and got in.

The police captain looked at the three women with an impressed look on his face.

"Any of you three ever thought about joining the police force, we could use girls like you." The captain said.

"We're actually FBI." Emily said "And so are those three lunkheads in the car."

"Them?" The captain said "Wow, the way the brawled last night, I'd guess they were underground fighters."

Emily, Garcia and JJ walked out and knew that they had the upper hand with their men and were not going to be handing it over anytime soon.

"You did get a copy of that bar fight off of the security feed right?" JJ asked Garcia.

"You bet your molasses I did." Garcia said grinning.

"And I've got the..." Emily said opening her coat to show the blondes "Mug shots!"

The three ladies walked into the SUV and drove off to get some breakfast.

While the three men were in fear of the girls when they get that angry and quiet they knew they were done for.

_'I knew we should of never gone to the bar.'_ Hotch thought looking at his brunette fiancee _'Now I know how she felt when she got arrested.'_

* * *

Charles Bukowski said "I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there."

* * *

**The End **

I hope you all enjoyed this two shot. Don't forget to leave a review.


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